my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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