He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
