She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
