Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
