yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize