I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
