U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
