I'm going to jail i love you
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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