don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
