HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Im part way to drunk.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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