I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
