WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
