I'm really into asian looking animals
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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