We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
