I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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