I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
