I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
