Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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