she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize