I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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