Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He's on the porch naked. Help.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
