So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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