i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I will be naked everywhere
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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