Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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