HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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