I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
