i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
