Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
