i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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