"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize