pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dignity is for republicans.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
