benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
