i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
