please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My life is pants optional.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
