I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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