and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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