Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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