Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
