friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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