Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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