Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
