respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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