Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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