So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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