Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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