you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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