I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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