Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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