this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Randomize
