I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize