I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
