So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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