Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
