You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize