I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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