69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
