So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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