WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
