He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
