It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
