Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
