Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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