so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Two words: blizzard sex
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
