Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
