I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
