If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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