we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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