I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
