is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
