and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize