Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
