Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
